Setting Financial Boundaries with Family During the Holidays

An Interview with D’Che Beyer

The holidays are meant to be a season of joy, connection, and generosity, but for many people, they also bring financial stress and unspoken family expectations. Gift-giving traditions, travel costs, and shared expenses can quickly add up, leaving people feeling stretched thin or weighed down by guilt.

As part of Sycamore Counseling Services’ Holiday Boundaries Series, we interviewed D’Che Beyer - owner of Moxie Mod with over 30 years of experience in the banking industry - about how to set healthy financial boundaries with family during the holidays. D’Che blends financial expertise with emotional and relational wisdom, offering practical guidance for protecting both your budget and your peace.

During the holidays, family expectations around gift-giving or shared expenses can create pressure. How can people decide what they can realistically spend without guilt or overextending themselves?

D’Che: A wonderful way to ease holiday stress is to set a savings goal for Christmas early and put aside small amounts each week. If you haven’t saved ahead of time, that’s okay. Set a realistic budget before the season starts and include gifts, travel, food, and extras. Once you have your number, stick to it without guilt or comparison.

If money is tight, talk to your loved ones and suggest options like Secret Santa, price limits, or homemade gifts. Being honest about your budget doesn’t make you less generous. It makes you smart and helps normalize conversations about money. The holidays should feel joyful, not draining, and focus on connection, not cost.

What advice do you have for communicating financial limits to family in a way that’s respectful and preserves the relationship?

D’Che: Setting financial boundaries with family during the holidays can feel uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be. Start by expressing your love and excitement for the season, then gently share that you’re simplifying things this year to stay financially healthy.

Use “I” statements like, “I’m focusing on experiences over spending,” to keep the tone personal and nonjudgmental. Offer thoughtful alternatives such as a game night, thrifted gifts, or something homemade. The true value of the holidays is connection—not cost. And clear, kind communication helps protect both your budget and your relationships.

Many people feel anxiety or shame when talking about money with loved ones. What mindset shifts help people move toward peace when setting financial boundaries?

D’Che: Talking about money with family can stir up guilt, fear, or shame. I totally get it. One powerful shift is to stop seeing boundaries as rejection and start viewing them as a form of care for yourself and your relationships.

When you reframe financial limits as a way to protect your peace and align with your values, it becomes less about what you’re saying no to and more about what you’re saying yes to. Let go of expectations that don’t serve your well-being. You’re not being selfish. You’re being intentional. And that’s wise.

What changes do you see when people honor their financial boundaries during the holidays?

D’Che: When people honor their financial boundaries, something shifts—not just in their bank account, but in their whole energy. They stop chasing expectations and start focusing on what actually matters.

There’s less stress, fewer regrets, and more presence. Instead of feeling stretched thin, people feel grounded and clear, able to enjoy the season without the emotional hangover. It’s like trading chaos for calm and that clarity brings more joy, intention, and peace into the holidays.

At Sycamore Counseling Services, we believe boundaries are not about distancing yourself from others. We must know where we end and others begin in order to be in healthy relationships. Healthy boundaries create healthier relationships, deeper connection, and lasting peace. If the holidays bring up stress around money, family expectations, or emotional overwhelm, our counselors are here to help you navigate those conversations with clarity and confidence. You don’t have to carry it alone this season.