Curiosity: The Pathway to Lasting Change
Lately on the blog, we’ve been talking about the power of slowing down to create lasting change in our lives. Today, we’ll build on that foundation and explore how curiosity can guide transformation.
When you think of curiosity, what comes to mind?
I’m not referring to Kramer from Seinfeld. His curiosity borders on nosy and invasive, often overstepping the boundaries of others.
Instead, I want you to think of curiosity as open, interested, flexible, and gentle.
Now, contrast that with judgment. Perhaps a certain family member or disapproving boss comes to mind. Judgment often feels harsh, shaming, focused on control or self-protection, and final.
Judgment asks: “What’s wrong with me?”
Curiosity asks: “What’s happening here?”
Judgment can sound like:
“I should be better by now.”
“Everyone else can do this.”
“I’ve already failed.”
And internally, it can show up as:
Tight chest
Shallow breathing
Racing or looping thoughts
Avoidance or numbing
A strong urge to quit, hide, or distract
Curiosity, on the other hand, often brings:
A slight softening
Space between the event and your reaction
A sense of choice
Willingness to stay present
Curiosity keeps us connected to ourselves long enough for lasting change to occur. Instead of asking, “Why am I like this?” curiosity asks, “When does this show up, and what might it be protecting?”
We see curiosity over and over in the Gospels in how Jesus interacts with the hurting around Him. He frequently asks questions like, “Do you want to be well?” or “What do you want?” There is no shame or judgment in His words, only gentleness and attentive curiosity.
Here’s a practical example of what this looks like in everyday life.
By the time this post is live, it will be late January. Let’s say you set a goal to exercise three days a week. Maybe you’ve let it slip for a week.
A shame-based reaction might sound like: “I can’t do this. I’ll never change.”
Curiosity, however, asks:
Why did I stop this habit?
Did I get sick and am still recovering?
Was jumping from no exercise to three gym sessions a week too ambitious?
Do I need support or accountability to sustain this change?
Do you notice the difference? Curiosity slows down negativity, invites self-compassion, and frees you to address barriers rather than feel stuck. It transforms failure into insight, and insight into progress.
